timfg.com
  • home
  • timfg
    • work
    • play
  • us
    • alison >
      • my aim is true
  • stuff
    • what's new
    • caravan
    • brenda
    • about the site
  • blog
  • contact

Flatpack crappery

17/2/2012

 
Picture
I bought one of these the other day. Abby needs a desk and I'm very happy to furnish her with one. I only wish that we didn't live a 10-minute drive away from IKEA, Purley Way, because it's impossible to identify any household need that IKEA won't be able to meet.  Which means that we have to go to IKEA a lot more often than I want to, my optimum frequency of visit per annum being around the NO I DO NOT WANT TO GO TO IKEA, I NEVER WANT TO GO TO IKEA, I'D RATHER SELF-CIRCUMCISE THAN GO TO IKEA EVER AGAIN mark. 

Picture

This is page 3 of the instruction manual. Apart from the rather greater number of bits of faux-wood than I expected, this simple piece of child's furniture requires 114 screws, widgets, doodabs, slightly longer screws, slightly thinner doodabs and some curly things that defy description. It's enough to bring tears to a grown man's eyes.

Picture
Picture


Fortunately, all the bits are neatly separated and labelled. Oh, sorry, did I say 'neatly separated and labelled'? I meant 'all mixed together in one plastic bag, thus requiring you to separate and identify one from t'other without the aid of an electron microscope'. This will take at least half-an hour.  It's enough to leave a grown man rolling on the floor, emitting peculiar, barely audible whimpering sounds.
Picture
Still, once you've got to this point, slightly smug at the rigour with which you've approached the preparation stage, you know the actual task of construction is going to be a breeze.

This is page 37 of the instructions. PAGE THIRTY-SEVEN. PAGE THIRTY SEVEN.

No doubt in my mind. Someone, somewhere should be shot.

Trev
17/2/2012 03:37:14 am

Its when there are bits left over I get like that


Comments are closed.

    RSS Feed

    All
    Cherish
    Eat
    Frame
    Geek
    Listen
    Ponder
    Watch

    What are these tags?

    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    August 2019
    April 2019
    July 2018
    June 2018
    February 2018
    March 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    March 2016
    October 2015
    April 2015
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012


    timmytime...?