- They'll tell you you don't need a code for internet access - but you'll discover this is untrue, when you are sitting in the bar, having already purchased a drink. You will have to queue up at reception to get your machine 'validated'.
- When you want to connect your iPhone to the internet, you'll have to go through the same rigmarole. And they'll require you to pay for it again.
- They don't think it even slightly odd when you ask for a chair in your room, so you can sit at the desk.
- They'll serve you the very worst rib-eye steak you have ever eaten. Really, the very worst. Great fatty chunks, zero flavour and the colour of veal, bizarrely. When you tell them so, they'll look helpless.
Malmaison was full.