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All fur coat and no knickers

4/5/2012

 
Al reminded me of this expression when I was trying to convey to her how much I hate the Crowne Plaza hotel in Birmingham. Which is where I was last night.
Picture
Picture
That's it, on the left. Taken from the front door of the office in Brum, which is on the right. Can't really complain about the journey to work, which is a 2-minute walk.  I can complain about any number of aspects of this crappy hotel chain though, which does it's best to dress itself up as a glamorous, sophisticated and a luxurious city-centre experience.  Scrutinise the detail and it's clear that this is entirely superficial, with absolutely no foundation in understanding what people want from a hotel.
  • They'll tell you you don't need a code for internet access - but you'll discover this is untrue, when you are sitting in the bar, having already purchased a drink. You will have to queue up at reception to get your machine 'validated'.
  • When you want to connect your iPhone to the internet, you'll have to go through the same rigmarole.  And they'll require you to pay for it again.
  • They don't think it even slightly odd when you ask for a chair in your room, so you can sit at the desk.
  • They'll serve you the very worst rib-eye steak you have ever eaten.  Really, the very worst. Great fatty chunks, zero flavour and the colour of veal, bizarrely.  When you tell them so, they'll look helpless.
I can't be bothered to continue with the list of 'reasons I hate this hotel'.  But I've told them before - 'Go have a look at Malmaison and understand what makes a good hotel'.

Malmaison was full.

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