It all seems rather unfair, the unfortunate chap can barely have worked out which draw to keep his stapler in. And the rolling implosion of the Beeb is all rather horrible to watch, what with its tendency to poke its own wounds until the whole organisation is touched by gangrene. 

Since I stuck a horrid bastard-of-a-workaround-solution repeater in the serving hatch it's all been not so bad. And I now trust Cloud Services to deliver to Bridge Road. Which makes me very happy.

And cloud is what consumer consumption is all about - or will be very soon, as people catch up, unwittingly, with a phenomenon that's taxing the brains of CIOs the world over...

... it's a tough one.

Have been removed. Well, actually, they haven't - Alison has been asked to 'request not to receive Child Benefit payments' any more, a decision she can freely choose not to make, as long as I'm happy with having to complete a full tax return every year so they can take exactly what they pay us in Child Benefit back again through my tax bill. Which all feels a bit underhand, deceitful and generally scuzzy. Still, why shouldn't we do our bit for rescuing the UK economy from the dogpoo that the bankers drunkenly shouldered it into, it's not as if they've kept their entirely disproportionate salaries, bonuses and City lifestyles. Oh, hang on...

We just totted up our total lifetime dependence on state benefits. Apart from Child Benefit, it amounts to two weeks of Unemployment Benefit that Al claimed 30 years ago. Well done us, for being such a non-burden on the economy. And Yah Booh Sucks to all the cash in hand 'workers' who not only avoid paying tax that is due, but will also now receive a benefit that isn't due either.

At the weekend, I am going to teach the children how to make gruel, construct shoes from newspaper and the value of an early apprenticeship in chimney-sweeping.

Possibly mankind's greatest invention.